i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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