She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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