I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
