I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
