Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
