You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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