What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
