Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
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yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
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Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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