girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he puts the penis in happiness.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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