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• (754): View more from Florida

  you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.

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• (760): View more from California

  so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (+04): View more from

  She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.

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