Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!

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(217): View more from Illinois

Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(909): View more from California

i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...

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(712): View more from Iowa

The police scanner is talking about you again....

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome

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(805): View more from California

Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"

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