That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
