she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
