It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
