who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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