white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
