My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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