At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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