apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
