yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
