I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
