I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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