Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
