Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have fence marks all over my body
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
