Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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