we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
