is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I party with great urgency now.
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