i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
