Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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