dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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