Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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