People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
