I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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