New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
