I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
