how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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