nut hugger
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
