plz talk dirty to me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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