In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize