your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I fill condoms, not promises.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
