My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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