that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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