those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
