At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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