You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
