She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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