I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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