Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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