worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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