i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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