i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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