theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
