Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
