Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
