rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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