Sry I called you an 8
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
