she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
as a side note pls kill me
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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