Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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