I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We have started to decorate penises.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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