last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
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I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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