Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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