It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
