His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
