And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
