he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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