When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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