Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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