She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
whose ass print is on the piano?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
