Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think I sprained my soul last night
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
