I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize