My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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