I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
