i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
