The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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