Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize